Awake.

Feeling like shit today, been sick to my stomach after having a bad breakfast, just sitting in my hotel catching up on some writing, and chatting with some friends at the same time.

I happened to catch a glimpse of something that recently happened to an acquaintance of mine, and wanted to vomit.

I don’t want to go into specifics, but basically someone I know that couldn’t have been more happy several months ago has had their whole world turned upside down. This isn’t the only instance I’ve seen lately, and it’s getting harder to look at.

People are so fucking evil to each other. We’re so weak. We want instant gratification. We want our own perfect worlds, and most of us will stop at nothing to get it. We will step on people, break their hearts, lie to them, deceive them, all for our own selfish needs.

We aren’t brave enough to stick it out. It feels like so many people have no principles, no backbone, no decency when it comes to being selfish or giving into easy temptation.

I don’t know why I’m writing this, because surely it falls on deaf ears, but I’m just sick of looking at everyone I know and seeing how afraid they are to trust people or to be vulnerable. It effects my current relationship as well in many ways, and I often fear that both of us may not have the bravery to stick it out and do what we know is right. We’re still human too.

You can’t wake up one day and have that courage. It’s a discipline. I work on it every day. I think about how much she means to me, and despite our issues, what I’d do to keep her in my life. There’s no guarantee she will do as much, but we have to be brave enough to stand up and be the person we want to be despite the likelihood of it being returned.

If more people stood their ground and handed out love and positive vibes because they WANT to; because it is who they ARE, this world would be a truly better place.

Those of us doing it would do so strongly enough to inspire the weaker ones to confront their fears and stand up for themselves and truly learn to love who they are, whether it is returned or not.

Stop keeping score in this life and stand for something.

Posted on November 7, 2012 .